Sufficiently Breathless

While doing some spring cleaning today, I was listening to Cecil Otter. You wouldn't think hip-hop music would inspire deep thoughts, but he is very poetic. The song "Sufficiently Breathless" has a line in it that says 'There was love in the air, you should have took breaths', and it got me thinking about a  specific moment I had with a man I loved very much. We were laying in my bed and the world didn't exist. It was the most involved moment (for me) that I can remember in our entire relationship, and yet that's really all it was-- a moment. It was there and it was real, but then it was gone just as quickly. I remember that I felt love, and I felt loved. I was open to it, and that was enough. I would be crazy to think that things stayed like that, or that we belonged together, looking back on it. But part of the problem with life in general is the inability to realize those times. All too often we let the times when we could be feeling our best go by unnoticed because our senses for that kind of thing aren't what we focus on in daily life. I am over feeling bad about that relationship, because it was a long time ago and I've healed. However, I can honestly say that I haven't put myself into another moment like that since. I only have myself to blame. A lot of good things have happened to me since then (I was probably only 24 years old), but I haven't slowed down to actually FEEL a lot them. I'm not sure if it's fear that holds me back from that, or if it's just something that dulls a bit with age and experience, but I want it back. So, starting now I'm going to try to keep not only my mind open to experiences, but also my heart.... because what good is it to live your life if you aren't feeling that little spark that tells you you're alive? Memories are just a series of great moments.